Rose...

* I can't sleep... so I may as well write.

Mamma woke way too early ...

She was making up for it by sleeping in a bit.

I had checked in on her a couple of times and knew she was OK..

This happens now and again so I wasn't alarmed.

So when the phone in her sewing room rang, I almost didn't pick it up

(The ringer on the phone in her bedroom is turned off)

To answer it on time I would have to use the bedroom phone and I didn't want to wake her.

I'm glad I answered it...

On the other end I recognized the voice.... It was the son of one of her dear friends.. immediately ...I knew it couldn't be good news... and I was right.

In his near cracking voice told me that his dear mother had passed early that morning.

(Maybe that's why Mamma couldn't sleep?)

I was at a loss for words.. Mamma and I had just paid her a visit very recently..

( Now I am so happy we did).

I gave him my condolences... and offered my support to him and the family.. If they needed anything at all to please call. I assured him I would let Mamma know...

I could hear the slight quiver in his voice just before he hung up... Understandable..

It doesn't matter how old you are...

Your Mother.. is your Mother. and when you lose her.... you feel lost and like a little child.

Mamma woke as soon as I picked up her phone... and even without her hearing aid in... The look on my face as I spoke... said it all.. it was bad news.

I explained it all to her as she began to dress.

Although saddened.. there was almost an air of resignation about her.

After all...at her age she has seen so much death.

So many gone... Father .. Mother.. Sisters and Brothers.. Husband and yes many good friends.

Perhaps it has become simply a reality one has to bear with age.

After making a few phone calls..

(Interesting how quickly the network of information spreads) plans were soon put into motion..

On the way to order flowers.. Mamma and I were reminiscing about our good friend..

My parents met the family well over 30 years ago.. someone gave them the scoop on a wonderful( Italian) farming family out in the country.

For my folks meeting people who could understand their native tongue was incredible... let alone having access to bushels and bushels of fresh vegetables and livestock.

It was ....well frankly.. a God send.

It didn't take long for the two families to become very close.

So many memories of driving out to the farm.

At the time we lived about 25 minutes east of "The Farm"

As a kid...it seemed so far away....

We had no inkling that one day we would live in the very same city.. Only minutes away.

The area once made up of mainly farmland reaching miles and miles around and fields once home to deer... geese and wild pheasants...

Is now a bustling suburban community lined with strip malls... chain restaurants and even IKEA !

A lot has changed in those 30+ years ...

But one thing that hadn't changed was the deep friendship that had been forged so long ago.

Many weekends were spent in those fields.. planting and then gathering tomatoes .. peppers and onions...Winters would bring the families together on Salami Day. So many memories of our lives are interwoven.

Being these folks are Italian.. they not only understood my parents and how they spoke.. they understood how they thought..

On the subject of death... A common theme (especially )for women of that generation was to be prepared.

(One day I will post about my own mother's preparation)

This unassuming generation seem to have a common sense attitude about their own mortality..

Instead of hiding their heads in the sand.. pretending that it isn't going to one day happen.. They almost defiantly proclaim... Here I am.. Take me when it's time.I am packed and ready.. I have done my job well.

This however....would of course mean the need for ... a new dress.

That's where Mamma came in.

Many of you know.. Mamma is a seamstress..

Starting many years ago.. before she even came here to America.. Her Mother asked her for a parting favor.. "Make my Funeral Dress."

Of course my mother was horrified.. She did not want one of the last things she did for her mother to be the making of her final resting attire... and yet being the respectful daughter she was.. she made it.

After a few years of being all alone on this side of the world.... her sister came to live in Canada.. and on one of her visits she too asked Mamma for the same favor of making her Funeral Dress... by now she was resigned to the fact that it was actually an honor to be the person dressing her dearest ones ... for the final time.

She went on to make her own funeral dress and only two more.

One being for this dear friend..

She wondered if her children would remember about the dress.. or even want to have her wear it.

The phone rang a few hours later .. One of the daughter in laws calling to say .. they found the box with the dress..and in it along with the dress was a black sash..

What was it for?..Did it have a meaning?...

Mamma explained that she had put in the black sash as a sort of belt..

The thought being...If she lost alot of weight.. the belt would tighten around her... assuring the proper look of the dress.

(Mind you.. this dress had been made 15-20 years ago... Mamma as usual thinking of everything)

It wasn't' necessary.. the dress fit fine.

As Mamma my sister and I walked in to the funeral home last night.. and greeted each one of her boys.. their wives.. their children and so many mutual friends. Flowers in not one but two rooms and the hallway.. ( A testament to how many lives this family touched )..

Mamma went up to the casket and touched her dear friend for the last time... said her goodbyes and wiped away a tear.

They had both been lucky enough to call each other "FRIEND" and really be able to mean it.

You know....Funerals are a bitter sweet thing.

On the one hand you are so sad to have to say goodbye to someone so special.. yet be so happy to have known them..

While everyone gathers at this time.. it gives you an opportunity to see folks you hadn't seen in so long... and share your stories.

One of her son's commented to my sister that the dress really looked nice on his mom..

My sister agreed it did..

She told him that Mamma's Funeral Dress was the same color and made from the same material.

He joked that there probably was a sale on it at the time. ( He is most likely right)

Gonna miss you Rose. You ... and your wonderful Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Thank You for everything you've done... Thank You for being such a good friend especially to my Mamma.

Rest in Peace.