Ya know.....

Sometimes it just feels like this....But then I keep saying to my self....over and over and over again...

After all.. Maybe....I just need a prescription for some.....But then I remember ......

Now.. if I could just follow my own advise...

It's the Final ( Wedding) Count Down !!!

Today we have Maria's Last Wedding Gown fitting...And as excited as we all are about the big day being so close

{24 more days!!!!!}

If I am being brutally honest.... I have to admit.... I am a bit forlorn.. not only because my baby is getting married. but dashed are my hopes of a "Theme" wedding I had dreamed about for my only daughter.

I always thought we would do something "Different" something that "Stands Out"..

(You know because I am kind of a flashy person... * Cough *NOT )

One day... it came to me... FEATHERS !... a lovely bride in feathers !!!Nothing says glam like turkey feathers.. and not just for the bride... but for the entire wedding party !

think of the possibilities.. I mean.. of course we would do a modern version ...
I just so happened to have found a mother of the bride dress that would be just perfect

But Maria put the ax.. so to speak on this idea..

She figures .. it's been done.

This however...is not going to stop me from wearing this little number to the rehearsal dinner.. Feathers..

You gotta love them...

Actually.....I have found my dress... and let me tell you it wasn't easy...

So many to choose from..

This one was a contender.
As well as this one.....It kind of boggles the mind..

Ultimately I found this little number that I think is just right.
It has it all.. the purple and lilac accents ( which are her colors ) go well with the pink paper wedding bell look of the dress..

The white rat handbag is a nice touch.

Of course.. you have to have shoes that match.. and viola !!!

Jewelery is also ready... Bam ! There you have it....The ensemble is complete.

Yeah.. it's getting down to the wire around here..

and some days.. I walk around looking like a Zombie.. but then I remember..
I just take a deep breath and remind myself somehow.. someway.. it will all work out..
In 24 days one way or another it will all come together..

After that is all done...... I can start worrying about my son's wedding in August!!!.. UGH !!!!

I have a couple of idea's for that big day as well...

This little number

Or this... I figure if it rains.. I 'll have it covered...(literally)

I'm not too worried about it really.. I mean everyone will be looking at the bride.

Besides....Most days I am pretty darn "Hot" anyway..* That is HOT.. as in HOT FLASH.. not Hot as in good looking..

Now step away before I shoot you with my stun gun.

Life Lessons... # 4 ( From Marcy's Point of View )

We have finally reached the conclusion of this

THINGS TO REMEMBER / LIFE LESSONS portion of posts..

(Just think all this Yoda like wisdom was spawned from this little picture.)

It is rather uncanny how much he and I look alike...Anyway...

The last quote we have to ponder is

#4 ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OUT OF OVER THINKING THINGS.

and to this all I can say is .....Hah... Hah... Hah...

I mean really all I can do is laugh..why?...

because it is laughable.

I have NO CLUE as to how to NOT over think a situation to death and I have written about this before..

I talked about the reel to reel tape recorder in my head that plays over and over again the unceasing commentary that can come out of my pie hole.

Unfortunately this is not reserved only for the stupidity that is capable of coming out of MY pie hole but sometimes that of others..

" Well what did he mean by that?"
" What was she trying to insinuate "

" I KNOW that look meant something"

"What will they think?"

And so.... I lay awake rehashing everything from the ridiculous to the sublime. Second guessing every word or phrase uttered... and if that weren't enough sometimes even regretting the things I didn't say.

The idea of not over thinking something is so foreign to me that mere thought of it sets me to over thinking about it.

I have come to the conclusion that #3 and #4 go hand in hand..

Once we can let go of not over thinking things.. we can let go of control. Because let's face it ..

No matter what we think or over think.. we can not control how it is perceived.. Often in our selves... and almost always in others.

He may have not meant anything with that comment

She may have not be trying to insinuate anything more than what was said

The look might have just been gas and basically

Who really gives a rip what "They" think.

As humans I think we have a tendency to think people are focusing in on everything "WE" think say or do.. and in reality they are more likely to be honing in on their own thoughts words and actions.

We really are complex little clay pots aren't we?... Capable of so much good..

but also so much Ca ca.

All in all I think the thing we have all come to realize in the last four posts is
We are all doing the best we can...or as I like to say..

" I'm dancing as fast as I can".

and that basically I don't know much more than the next Joe Blow...

but I am aways thinking about things... and sometimes even OVER THINKING about things..

Now if you will excuse me ... I see an Extra Strength Excedrin in my near future.Because I seem to be Pumpkin Positive

Life Lessons # 3 ( From Marcy's Point of View)

I don't think it's any surprise that it has taken me longer to get to # 3 and #4 on the list.

Now I could blame it on the wedding and all the crazy things involved in getting ready.. but in reality that would be a great big lie..

The real deal is... I am still trying to learn the lesson of.. #3 #3 Letting go is much better than maintaining control.

Huh?...

The idea is so foreign to me that I sorta have to blink a couple of times and really really think about this..

You see I am a first born...and let's face it first born's are by nature pretty take control kind of people..

(Some would call us bossy but then what do they know..)

So the whole idea of not having a active role and controlling things around us is pretty daunting... and completely mind blowing.

At least to me.

I can't pretend to say I have this one under control ... but as I get older I can say without a doubt that TRYING to maintain control is exhausting ... and more often than not.. futile.

From a spiritual point of view.. I have come to see how very egotistical ... perhaps even infantile it is to think I can control anything.

The idea that I know better than God.. or Spirit.. or Nature... or Life.. or whatever you call that force that is bigger than us..

What ever you call it...

He/ She/ It... seems to have a pretty darn good grasp on how things work..

The sun rises and sets just on time.. The planet spins at the correct speed... Our hearts pump and lungs expand..We meet the people we are supposed to meet and yes .. even bills manage to get there on time.

The reality is...there are some things I can control .. but a heck of alot of other variables I cannot.

All too often I have been surprised at how well things turn out when I have managed to keep my grubby little mind and hands out of it.

Sometimes even getting down on my knees in gratitude that I didn't get my way...realizing that my way could have been horrible.

I am a work in process.. and I am really trying to let go of control ...

but it's not easy.

All I can do is try my best and let it all play out.

Often...

I can't figure out what is more draining..

The efforts that go into being in control

.. or..

The efforts of Letting go of control.

Oh Well.....

I guess I will go and do what I can control.
Laundry

Dishes

Cooking

Cleaning

and Bathing

One day I may not even be able to control those things.!...

I am sorry but it's true.. One day IF we reach that point in our lives.. even the mundane everyday things we take for granted may one day be out of our control.

Now ... Isn't THAT a pleasant thought.

This uplifting motivating message has been brought to you completely out of my control... I wrote.. what I was compelled to write.

Have a good day and...

Life Lessons....#2 ( From Marcy's Point of View )

2. PEOPLE ARE UN PREDICABLE.

You know.. when you first read that statement.. it sounds a bit negative.. and of course it can be..

I mean I don't think any of us have been spared the hurt of counting on another person .... really hoping ( ASSUMING) that they would come through for us..

Only to be disappointed.

(ASSUME..... when you assume it makes an ASS out of U and ME )

Unfortunately ... it is a certainty in life.

Someone you love will not love you back the way you think they should..
Someone you thought would never lie to you does

Someone you have shown kindness to will be unkind

Someone you have given support to will be be absent or unwilling to support you.

The list goes on and on..

The Sting seems to be when we are CERTAIN that person will behave in a way we THINK they will behave.

When they don't we are disappointed .. and take it personally. (again human nature)

But ....

IF we go back to lesson number 1.

EVERYONE FEELS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, JUST NOT AT THE SAME TIME.

We can get a little comfort ..Knowing that we are not all on the same page.. at the same time.

Sometimes People just DON"T love you .. the way you love them

Sometimes People are frightened and come up with lies to cover up that fear.

Sometimes People don't understand that their words or actions come across as unkind.

Sometimes.... People are hanging on by their own thin thread.. and are not in a position to give you support.

It's all Unpredictable..

People are Unpredictable.

But rather then think of this lesson in the negative..

I would like to point out that sometimes people are unpredictable in good ways..

I will tell you a story in my own life

(Man I hope she doesn't read this blog! )

I used to work with a gal years ago.. She was not actually MEAN to anyone... but just not overly friendly and some would say aloof..

She had a reputation of being a loner.. some would say ( of course not me..!!)

a snob.
In fairness I have to say.. I think she almost liked that M.O. it may have given her the excuse not to connect with others..

She had been a bit sheltered in her life and in some ways spoiled.

The bottom line was .. people were jealous of her and resented her standoffishness.

As luck would have it..

I was placed in a position that required me not only to work closely with this woman.. but unfortunately for her.. and even more so for me .. required that I take over her job while she was on vacation.
Keeping in mind that this same woman could detect the displacement of HER pencil within centimeters.. or if HER eraser had been worn down more than she would have used.. as well as the quantity of staples left in HER stapler. She did HER job well and felt that no else could or SHOULD do it as well.

The thought of me having to take over this ladies position for the next seven days while she was gone was daunting to say the least...

Not only was I or anyone else really sure what she did..because of her self imposed isolation...But I knew that I had to keep things a certain way...

She was obsessed about her work area and the things in her work area ....

I didn't dare move the seat up or down for my own comfort.. ..

Would I remember to place the pens all facing the same way?...

Would I be able to place the staples at the correct angle?

She had a way of doing things and a loved her job almost more than her 1:00 P.M. (EXACTLY) lunchtime slot.

Her job seemed pretty cushy and we all knew she had a constant nagging fear that someone would try to take it away from her.

However....

By the end of the first day of her vacation... .. Not only did I not care about her seat.. her erasers .. staples .. pens or pencils.. I didn't' care one way or the other if I ever set foot in that area again..

I was completely overwhelmed with the amount of work and details involved...

I was SO ready for her to come back.. if for no other reason than to tell her she could keep her stupid job or shove it where the Sun don't shine.. I didn't care which...

The combination of her standards and the sheer work of her job made my head spin.

I never thought I would be so happy to see HER face..

Not only did I assure her that her job was straight from the pages of Dante's inferno.. I would NEVER again be put through that again... trying to keep things in basic order was crazy.

Now... I could see why she had a set way of doing things and a place for everything just so.

The relief on her face..... was visible that I was not gunning for her position...

Not only was I not gunning for her position.. I basically told her I would rather pull out my own teeth with a rusty pair of pliers than go through that ordeal ever again.

Time went on.. and suddenly.. the same rigid woman who would never allow any kind of real friendship or camaraderie was now talking to us.. sharing her supplies as well as her own stories..

She even got to the point that she didn't automatically roll her eyes every time I cracked a stupid joke.

Before we knew it.. she became human ... right before our / MY eyes.

We found out things about her and her life that really helped us understand the reasons for why she was the person we all perceived her to be.

Like all of us.. she had been shaped by her life experiences or even more so lack of life experiences... It all shaped her personality.

Later when my first child was born.. and I was out on maternity leave,I got a phone call from this gal,she was nearby and wanted to know if I was available for a few minutes? she wanted to talk to me..

I said of course and quickly changed my shirt that was stained with sour breast milk... as well as my son's less than Baby G.Q attire.

When I opened the door ... there she stood with a beautifully wrapped gift for him in her hand..I let her in and we visited for about an hour!

Now....

Had you told me a year prior that one day I would talking (civilly) with this woman.. Let alone IN MY home I would have peed in my pants laughing at you.

Yet there she was...

Not only was her gift to him absolutely gorgeous.. Hers was the first Non family visit for him in our home.

As she sat there holding my son cooing and baby talking him... I sat watching in utter amazement.

It was a huge lesson to me.

Not only to remember that we cannot judge people by what we see on the outside (Physically as well as in Personality) but that people are unpredictable.

Just when you think you know them... and have them pegged.. They will show you another side all together.

People ARE unpredictable.. Sometimes.. they can be kinder than you ever imagined.

Life Lessons.. #1 (From Marcy's point of view)

OK..
In an effort to be a little more thought provoking and in an effort to add a little substance...
I have decided to cover some idea's found Here:Let's take them one at a time.. shall we?

1.EVERYONE FEELS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, JUST NOT AT THE SAME TIME.

So true.. so so true.

I have found that we are all more alike.. then we are different.It's just that we come into our similarities at different times in our life.

An example would be Death. and Life...

I have been going to funerals since the age of seven so I thought I knew what death was all about.

I mean I had seen the very old die and even the very young.

I knew that the body there in the casket was only the shell of someone I had known and had probably loved.

But...It wasn't until the death of my own father that I truly understood what death meant.

Now when I go to a funeral.. I get it. I understand what death means.. because that experience has touched me..

Interestingly enough I am also fully aware that as much as I may think I know what death is.. All I have to do is look into the faces of some of my friends who have lost Both parents.. A loss so great that even at our age makes them feel like orphans... some who have lost siblings or even more unfathomable children. The Great gaping hole of loss and thoughts of what if.. are unimaginable.

Do I understand death?

To some degree yes... but I know that there are other faces of death out there.. Some are inevitable.. Some I hope I NEVER see.

Same holds true for life.. I thought I understood kids ..

My Mom had to have a very dangerous operation when we were very young..She had to rely on help...not only from a woman who came in for a while after the surgery but also on me...because of that surgery and the age difference between me and my siblings..(I am 6 and 8 years older) I had to help care for and raise my brother and sister.

So.... in my naivete..I thought I pretty much knew what having kids was all about.

I knew all about the basics..Feeding.. diapering..comforting and disciplining..that sort of thing... but it wasn't until I had my own .. that I REALLY knew what having kids was all about.

Just about every feeling out there is or will be shared by us all....just not at the same time.

Love.. Hate.. Jealousy.. Envy.. Happiness.. Sadness.. Boredom... Thrill.. Birth ... Death.. The list goes on and on.

It is really true when they say.. Until you walk in someone else's shoes ....You do not know how they feel.

Virtually EVERY experience can not truly be understood until.You go through it yourself.
You may THINK you know but you don't.

So I try to keep this in mind every day..

We really don't know what someone else is going through Do we?

Day to day life happens and we can only "GUESS" how people feel.
Sometimes we are aware of the circumstances and situations that people are facing which in our minds help us feel empathy... and that is all well and good.. But more often we don't...

It isn't until we are faced with the same or similar situation that we see with new eyes(and heart)

This should give us some consolation..

Because basically....We really are more alike then different and...

We are all just doing the best we can.

I'll try to remember all this when someone is acting like a Jack hole...

Because inevitably .. One day (probably sooner rather then later )it will be my turn to act like a Jack hole.

So...I guess I'll cut them some slack.

NEXT TIME.....

2.PEOPLE ARE UNPREDICTABLE.

Nothing New... same old pain in the ASH.

Hey all... Sorry I have been M.I.A.

Did you all think I was somewhere hidden in all the volcanic ash?No...

Nothing that exciting....I have just been hanging out ... trying out a new facial mask.. and let me tell you....It's worked wonders... to think women pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars to look this good. All of this....and just trying to gather myself..

The past week has been a series of Doctor Visits for Mamma.. and...

The day to day stuff for me

OH..

other then Book Club night with the gals... Now that.... is always a fun night out...

I think I mentioned that I did manage to find some jewelery for the wedding..

But I am still on the hunt for the perfect Couture shoes. You know.. something classyYet....with the comfort of a flip flop.. Surprisingly..... not as easy as it may sound..
I just know that at the end of that day.. my poor feet will be dog tired..
I just hope I can keep the odor down to a minimum.Yes... It has been one of those days...

I have to keep repeating my mantra... Well that and... basically....